I was reading my Facebook feed this morning and one of my former students wrote something along the lines that she was confused as to why Janay Rice would stay with and marry Ray Rice after he beat her. She wondered if she stayed with him for the money. I looked at people's comments to her post and others were sharing my student's opinion that perhaps Janay Rice was a bit of a gold digger.
Obviously, no one knows why Janay Rice would stay other than Janay Rice...but, I think that we need to not jump to the conclusion that sharing in her husband's millions was the reason why she stayed.
Domestic abuse creates real psychological problems. Learned helplessness is a real problem that battered spouses face. To someone on the outside, the decision to leave can seem simple. That is not the case for someone who is dealing with abuse daily---particularly someone who has a child with their abuser as is the case with Janay Rice.
Beverly Gooden is someone who has personal experience with domestic abuse and started the hashtag #WhyIStayed. *Read about her here. Her purpose was to show people that walking away isn't that simple. One example she posted "I tried to leave the house once after an abusive episode, and he blocked me. He slept in front of the door that entire night. #WhyIStayed"
As a result of her hashtag a discussion grew on Twitter where other women shared why they stayed in abusive situations. Here's a few that were mentioned in the article I linked to above:
Please don't be quick to judge or make assumptions about Janay Rice and hope that you never experience the things that she has experienced.
*Click here for another good article which discusses why abused women stay with their abusers.
Obviously, no one knows why Janay Rice would stay other than Janay Rice...but, I think that we need to not jump to the conclusion that sharing in her husband's millions was the reason why she stayed.
Domestic abuse creates real psychological problems. Learned helplessness is a real problem that battered spouses face. To someone on the outside, the decision to leave can seem simple. That is not the case for someone who is dealing with abuse daily---particularly someone who has a child with their abuser as is the case with Janay Rice.
Beverly Gooden is someone who has personal experience with domestic abuse and started the hashtag #WhyIStayed. *Read about her here. Her purpose was to show people that walking away isn't that simple. One example she posted "I tried to leave the house once after an abusive episode, and he blocked me. He slept in front of the door that entire night. #WhyIStayed"
As a result of her hashtag a discussion grew on Twitter where other women shared why they stayed in abusive situations. Here's a few that were mentioned in the article I linked to above:
- #WhyIStayed I was hit at home growing up. How was I to have learned relationships could be different? — dazylady (@dazyladyblog) September 9, 2014
- Because “If I can’t have you, NO ONE will have you” was reinforced by my abuser daily. #whyistayed — Afton Monique (@VivaLaDiosa) September 8, 2014
- I have a genetic disease and his health insurance was covering my treatment. #WhyIStayed — Renné Louise (@Wrennelouise) September 9, 2014
- #WhyIStayed because I thought it was me letting her down — Doctor Oddfellow (@DoctorOddfellow) September 9, 2014
Please don't be quick to judge or make assumptions about Janay Rice and hope that you never experience the things that she has experienced.
*Click here for another good article which discusses why abused women stay with their abusers.